


Frozen Feelings

by badwolfrun



Series: Nick/Greg Ficlets [2]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e24 Grave Danger Part 1, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-15 20:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17535806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfrun/pseuds/badwolfrun
Summary: How do you deal, when the man you love is trapped underneath the earth and you're forced to watch?





	Frozen Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Made a gifset of Greg's reactions to the webcam feed and wrote this little blurb. Italicized quotes are from "chasing the bus" (sorry couldn't think of a better title.) Might do a follow-up with Greg's thoughts during the rescue scene.

“ _ I feel bad, I just froze up.” _

He remembers his first scene in the field, all hands on deck, a terrible bus crash, victims both living and dead alike, shivering from both the cold air and rush from being on the scene. He remembers following Nick, secretly hoping he would offer Greg his puffy jacket, taking pity on the young, inexperienced man. He remembers seeing the bus driver, suspected of drinking, begin to cough up blood. Blood that he would analyze in the lab. Blood that was now spouting out of a man’s mouth. 

_ “That’s why we have fielding training, Greg. No disrespect, but you’re not qualified to be out here.” _

He remembers that field training, the scenarios that taught him how to cope when the cases hit just a little too close to home. He remembers all the little tricks they taught him, to shove all human emotion aside, to treat the victim with the dignity of humanity, but to also treat them as an object, a piece of evidence, especially if they are no longer alive. Some cases are so nightmarish, so violent, so dark, that there’s no humans involved at all, anyway. 

It feels like some sort of fever dream, with an old, creepy rock song playing in the background and the look of shock and horror on everyone’s faces. Did Hodges spike something in his drink after Greg beat him at that dumb board game?

He can’t help but wonder if he’s qualified to stand among his co-workers, in front of this monitor, faced with live evidence in a case of a missing CSI. Can he handle watching the man scream silently on the screen? How long does he have to watch him? Is Grissom going to make him sit here for the next twelve hours, to keep an eye on him? 

The seconds tick by, and the man on the screen calms down, but Greg’s heart still feels as if it’s in free fall. He can draws a breath in, and holds it, feeling guilt that he cannot share this precious air with the man on the screen, who desperately needs it. 

“Well, if the math is right, he’s got about an hour and 15 minutes of air left in that box.”

His mouth drops open, he wants to say something, no…ask something. He wants to ask his friend for his reaction, to give him a direction on how he should cope with this particular situation.

“ _ How do you deal?” _

But the friend isn’t there beside him, he’s not across the hall, he can’t page him to come closer. An image of him is trapped on the screen, moving–no,  _ writhing  _ because he can’t get comfortable. 

The man disappears, and his heart leaps. Maybe he made it out, maybe this isn’t a live video after all, maybe Nick is going to come running up behind Greg to tease him, about how he can’t seem to take his eyes off of him even when he’s not around–

But Warrick presses a button, and Nick’s back on the screen. Still trapped, still writhing. 

He feels frozen, as everyone starts to leave the room, taking varying amounts of times to un-glue their own eyes from the screen. He wants to leave the room, wants to go run a sample, wants to go start digging holes anywhere he can, he just  _ wants to help. _

But there’s nothing he can do. How can he deal with this inability to just wrap his arms around Nick, run his fingers through his hair, tell him everything will be okay? How can he deal with this timer, ticking down the seconds until a ransom is paid or Nick will die? How can he deal with this utter helplessness as his friend slowly suffocates? How can  _ Nick _ deal with it?

“ _ You just do.” _


End file.
